Even SuperHeroes fall.I tell myself that sometimes when things just aint going my way.
Lately I've just been tired trying to do so much with the music and work, plus juggle my friends. I realized today that I'm an asshole, and even though I think I was driven too it I can't sugar coat my behavior or justify it in anyway.
SpiderMan saves people from people, and some people from themselves. Thru his affairs some people don't like him, this jeopardizes his family and close friends. Thru his affairs sometimes it mean fucking some people over who depend on him. RESPONSIBILITY is the word I think I'm getting at here. In a not so superhero way, I'm just like SpiderMan. And thru my affairs some people like me, and some people hate me. Though hate may be a strong word I don't think it's too far off key to use it in this post so that you all get the picture. My current mood is "pissed", and no today has not been good to me. I try and remember that "Even SuperHeroes fall."
I've strayed from responsibility, I don't like being responsible for how someone feels due to my actions which I'm sure is why I've strayed from relationships, aswell as having any more kids than the one I have now.
For some reason I thought these things would come more easily in life, but I've been wrong.
Some women have more or less began to hate me. They think that I'm immature, or that I'm unwilling to commit. I think I'm just to pessimistic for a relationship right now, but I'd like to learn to be otherwise. Is that wrong.
Relationships represent being tied down to me, and I see it in the ones around me. I go to a friends house and asking them to hang out is similar to when I was a child, knocking on a playmates door to meet those large people we called parents and saying the following, "Can Steven come out to play." Then watching on as Steven grabs his coat announcing what time he'd be back and where he'd be as if they might object, then correct him as they saw fit.
My headaches but I don't use asprin. I may need a psychologist, but I can't afford to ask him.
Sometimes I laugh in the misdst of my pain, and I'd never admit that I'm acting. Not even to myself. I'm just tired friends. Tired of the bullshit, tired of how complicated life can be sometimes. Tired of the lies, hell even tired of just watching the days go by. And then I gotta admit to myself that hey, "Even Superheroes fall", sometimes.
Today someone close broke my heart, I thought we was better than that. I hope this post doesn't sound suicidal cause I know I'm better than that. I just wanted someone to talk to, and since no one was around. I just said fuckit, got online, and jotted this shit down. Today I can't front I'm really feeling this frown. But to those who still down stick around, I know I'll smile again.
So here's to friends.........
And everything that comes with 'em.
Cheers.
