DEUCES

Sup yall? Well, for those who care, The OnLyONes CRew is no more. Yup, we fucked it up this morning. And not even enough drama to make a movie over. I'm good though, I mean I had prep time. Knew this was coming. I see alot more change for the future, but I'm gonna put my best foot forward and feel good about it. I can leave Topeka now, but where do I wanna go. Lets see, we have Virginia Beach, VA- Pheonix, AZ, or the ATL, Ga.......hmmm. I really don't know what to do. I hear they head hunting in Arizona though, and that ain't cool. Meanwhile I'm feeling like i need to get my workout on. Don't mind the skinny, but i think I'm getting a lil too soft. Gonna have to work that out.

Oh yeah, I'm single lol. But you would be surprised what some think. Even still...... I'm not sleeping with anyone these days lol (except my hand on occasion). It's a choice. No Shame here, shit is more safe, and no one is pissed off at me at the end of the week. Well it was suppose to work out that way, but I'm still accused of being what I'm not. Oh well I guess.
Man my head hurts by the way. Too much negativity taken in today. Exhausting. Took a stroll back to my younger years, been bumping 90's joints all day. Above the rim soundtrack, The Show, Murder was the case, and New Jersey Drive. Good times man. Now all I need is to end the day with a good jazz track. Maybe some Sam Cooke soul music. I'm kinda winging it.
At the end of the day though, I can't make everyone happy, so I'm gonna focus on me and those who make me happy. LOL, man i know somebody gonna have something to say about that. Anyway Yall be cool. And I hope you'll get a copy of my new cd when it comes out. It was made in a storm of insecurity, paranoia, chaos, and distrust. I just dressed it up and sprinkled arrogance on it. :) Be cool people!!!

Flickr

Greg Enemy at the Granada this past wednesday night.
You LIKE??????
I'm taking photos now thanx to the influence of someone quite close to me. And I love it. While I would love to have some women to shoot, I've yet to find a candidate. Still I know it will take some time to be taken seriously. Other than my equipment, I'm still just a guy taking pictures with a camera. I'm shooting with a Nikon d60 w/ an 18-55mm lens. LOL, i don't know exactly what that means but to those who do, I'm told it's a kick ass camera so fuck it. Anyway my photos can be viewed on flickr. The address is / www.flickr.com/tonyflaco /
I only hope I get the support I've been given in music so much. thank you.

Midnight Snack

You ever wake up in the middle of the night and your brain is just blowing thru information like a rabbit on speed? I have. Most recently as a matter of fact. Because I'm kinda pissed. And I really wanna get my hands on cupid so I can kick his ass. Ya know, I mostly hold back from the things I want to say because although I don't get the kind of traffic I used to on this blog. I know people are still stopping by every once and awhile and I guess I care more than I let on about hurting peoples feelings, or pissing someone off. Better yet I'll go about this in a round about way.

I don't understand women. I know people okay, but I don't understand women. Especially in relation to me. I've stated this before and I'll state it again. If you happen to find yourself actually falling for my skinny ass, I will most likely be clueless. You have to tell me at some point. With that said I don't want to know when it's too late! I've had more than my share of women after they get married or are in an exclusive relationship tell me how much of a crush or attraction they had for me when they were single. See usually I have, or at some point will hit on my friends. When I meet a woman I really just wanna kickit. I really just wanna make a friend. But I sleep with my friends if I'm really into them (though at a time in my life I did even if i wasn't)..... had the opportunity presented itself. I've been single so long what am I suppose to do? Don't answer that question.
Further more, contrary to popular belief, I'm not a dog. I don't just sleep around with random women. And I'm quite capable of handling long term relationships, though they have mostly fell on my terms as of late.
I was in a loving relationship for more than 3 years in my early twenties so I know what love is.
I loved her like I love my sister. I loved her like I love my mother. She did wrong and I forgave her. She cheated on me and I forgave her. She broke my heart then crushed it over and over with the heels of her boots...... and I forgave her. We didn't stay together and at times I hated her, but I forgave her. We hardly speak now and I don't much care if I ever see her again in life. But I have forgiving her. What I learned is that she did not love me. And when you love someone forgiving is infinite. After her the bar was risen. No one ever loved her like I did and no one ever will. And still that isn't me saying no one will love her again.
Back to my point. Love is not that difficult. I know people who have loved each other there entire lives. It's not easy dealing with most anyone over the years but that type of glue keeps you together thru all kinds of shit. IT'S THE BOND THAT ISN'T DIFFICULT. The power of it, that makes people do stupid shit and turn their nose to the world for that glory of love. I'll pass judgement because I've been loved as I have loved, but I didn't play games with it. I kept it very clear where my feeling were because what goes around comes around.

This Lemon cake is good. And I don't even really like lemons.
This milk gives me gas, but I'll drink it anyway.
......Like a moth to a flame. Funny. I'm not good with women, but I still put myself thru the trails that come with them.
And something tells me this is normal. But I'm ranting again, I really think this is turning into a rant that will eventually spiral into nothing of coherency -so-I-will-stop-now.

Surely someone knows what the hell I'm talking about.
I'm going back to bed.
be cool

Look into my eyes. Or just read the following.

Ok........So I"m 30 now...................WoW.

Come so far. And still I have so far to go............I can't help but wonder what's next.

I don't think I've peaked yet.

Na......I'm definitely still on the climb.

I know someone is gonna have something to say about it but.......I can't believe I'm still Single.

And I still wonder if I always will be.

I wonder.

Feeling Collage (A Novelty)

No one will understand this.

The Speed Of Sound plays in my background. I Run my fingers through my head as if it is a new beginning and wish for another moment to drown out the voices in my head. How did it all begin, I want to understand. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Inhale this world. Smile.
I don't want to puzzle the pieces of the unfortunate. I just want to leave them where they lay and Move The FUCK ON. Appreciate My artistry. My passion. My moment here in this beautiful, chaotic world. Massage my shoulders. Everyday.
She will understand, she will understand, she will understand. I need someone to lean on. Still I will press on alone, because I am strong. Do you, see thru me. Do you, pay attention. Do you care. RHETORIC. I've changed, I SMile. Smile.

Do I love writing? Or do I love to hear myself talk?
Who am I now? Am I a total stranger to the child i once witnessed in the mirror? There you are! I see you when I smile!
And I smile. I'll always be waiting for you. Truly I will. You warm my heart with Tears. I love you so much. So Very much.
They won't understand and I will be oblivious because they do not matter in these moments cherished.
Cherished.
Speak slow and maybe it will last a bit longer. Speak true and it will last forever, and ever.
The stars shine for you. Tis your turn. lol, Revel in the moment.
Still there??
SMiLe. Smile for me.
Thank you.