Techno-Lover

The 4-play runs off the keystroke.  Not the tongue.
And we can only touch the emotion thru gestures and kind words while we stare at the white screen which tells our eyes we are looking at each other.
Words manifested, written, and spoken in our minds thru this electricity.

Am I dreaming?
When someone captures my attention.  It is almost always through the simple words we use each day.  Arranged in a fashion so uncommon to my ear.  Especially since I have  been here, in Topeka.

Now at first sight.  I would say there isnt much to me.  Skinny black guy, token, smile.  At hello most notice I am well spoken (depending on where my head is, lol).  And in conversation I am a man of content, principles, and perspective.

Topeka, Kansas.  You aspire to be a big city, but you have the mentality of a small town.  And so your bright minds flutter away to the BRIGHT lights of cities you can see in the sky.
Everyday I watch the wind blow away these wonderful women like the seeds of a dandelion.
And this is my home.

The Dream.

I am suffocating under these keys.  Sick of the ringtones, and message alarms.  All my thoughts are in the clouds.  And the thunder god is laughing.
To find romance at such a long distance.  Intoxicated with only words and warm gestures.  While resting in a cold bed only made comfortable from my own body heat, and a silence that leaves me in the very thoughts I am trying to escape.
Loosing consciousness.

Awaking,
to that soft voice over the phone.  The Phone.  It rang me from my peace.  And while the voice is soothing, I only hoped it would have been preceded by soft lips upon my cheek.  Instead I trade my body heat once again to warm the phone upon my face..... but I do not mind, the voice distracts me so much from these things.
Amazing how you can feel so close to someone who is so far away.  But any place, is only a day away in the 21st Century.  Our chains are our decisions, commitments, responsibilities, and goals made before we knew either of us existed in each other, in this way.

A Dream.
Surely you are but a dream.  I cannot touch you, smell your aura, your exhale.  Our physical selves are simply abstract in this format.
I do not posses you in any fashion.
I process you, in every fashion.
The electricity in my brain travels thru my hands, thru my computer, thru these electrical lines, to your eyes and processed in your mind, before the process is..... repeated in the opposite..... direction.

This electrical Song of Solomon.
Shared between us....... Ha.  (And whoever else is watching.)

All the while we hunger for the past time of our species.  A primal need to feed this flesh.
The scent.
The sight.
The touch.
The sex.

Still, for now.  We are only left with the interaction of our minds.  Hoping the first close encounter, when and if it takes place.
Lives up to This Dream, we have built up in our minds.


Patience, a true Virtue.

Until it kills me

The pace of time can raise or break a man.

I prefer progress.  RISE.  I didn't peak in high school.  I haven't peaked yet.  I have always sought to elevate myself mentally, physically, and in my position in life.  All that I have and all I have became has come at a cost.

Do yourself a favor on day and push away the mental blocks on all the information that comes crashing down upon you for one moment.  Love everything in your immediate sight like you would the eyes of a lover or some exotic sunset. Till even a napkin is another world in itself.  On other words,

 -"Stop and smell the roses"-

Reality in it's most raw form humbles you to your knees and makes you cry.  It is too much.  And remember..... Your breathing the whole time.  Take a moment to really cherish that, like each was your first, until it's your last.

I believe that is the true worship of God himself.

And these are my happy places when everything around me is crumbling like parched earth between my hands along a river of ash, death, pain, and betrayal.  When muthafuckaz I hold down don't do like they suppose to, and instead disrespect me like I would expect from this world of apathy rather than my select few............

In those times there is nothing to do but Center. And find my peace.  My quite.  My passion for all things, and all emotion.  Before God, if he is willing.  I will grow old in wisdom from this hard bitter sweet life and shed leaves of content to the youth, like a tree sheds leaves to the grass to consume and grow. For as long as I do not intend to die, I intend to grow stronger.

And find my Peace.

I started writing again.
Funny it seems that as the years go by life and the perception of time seems to alter.  More question, less answers.  Even falsehoods exposed.
Just as well, though I may seem at home in  most social engagements, people have become much more difficult to ascertain.  Navigate rather, especially in a room of deep thinkers and those with agendas.
My politically correct filter is fading.  I just say whatever I feel.
And naturally, people get upset.

The Gay debate, abortion, politics, infidelity, etc, etc........ black people, lol.

Recently I was asked to participate in a weekly table talk kind of sit down to be streamed on youtube.
I find this request very compelling, I can say what I wanna say and random anonymous people can judge me on an open forum, haha.  Kind of like my blog, but not as demanding on the eyes.
And I can dig that.
But just as well, I can not help but wonder how many people with agree with what may come out of my mouth.  Especially since I am being brought aboard to be controversial.

You know,
I have always tried my best to be a man of substance.  I admire people with content.  And the older I get, the more I hunger for intellectual interaction.  Especially so when I find myself out of my own depts, or not as quick as the next man.  It happens too, mostly because, and this is even crazier, I attract these people to me.  These people talk to me, they think I know what the hell they talking about too, and demand input as much as I do.  To be challenged.  And I try, haha.  I have no idea what they walk away from these encounters with in regards to whatever perspective I gave them.  I simply walk away pissed I did not read a certain book, or that i wasnt up on a subject I may never have covered otherwise.
I have a habit of generalizing a read, rather than remembering specific details.  I mean give me a break I read most of this stuff for pleasure, not for a class.

Anyway,
I am looking forward to this table talk.  I will most likely share them on my blog as they are posted.
I know I have not written on here in a long while,  mostly because life has been more demanding these last few years professionally as well as personally.
Worry not.
I will always write.
I am a scribe.