Strickly 4 my Niggaz

I've changed, haha. Yall niggaz kill me...... I've changed.
It's not that I've changed, but it's funny how all yall rearranged, when I found game.

This is a rant.

I told you I loved you. In my heart I know it is truth. What kind of love that is I don't really know, but the years have passed and it remains constant in one fashion or another. And then I told you (again you could say) after ten years, still this changes nothing. I don't expect you to come running to me and accept me in your life as a partner. That's not even what I want.

I'm on hold..... she said she'll get back with me. You do that baby girl.

The homie. We came up together thru high school. I always held ya down, looked out, no secretes you know? Brother from another mother type shit. We was Cooley High till you got that twinkle in ya eye over the love of your life (I guess).
Question?
Why do cool ass niggaz turn into bitches over love?
I must be missing something. Probably why I'm once again traveling my road alone. Well I can live with that.

And still I tell myself, "Self? When are we gonna get back to business as usual?"
"When do we get back to writing about all the things that tickle our funny bone and talk shit on people again?"
I wanna do 2006 again without the motorcycle accident. I just gotta lick these wounds and clean out a closet first, so bear with me people while I vent.

In truth I'm getting sick of people, because everybody is playing the game. I know a woman who has played the game so long she don't even realize she's always in the game. And she goes so hard that she can't even see why she still single.

Me? Yes I'm single, not because I play games, but because I'm honest. Especially with my self and whoever I'm dealing with. Which is why my divorce is on some grown up shit, we're not fighting over "stuff" and bickering about bullshit. And in single life I keep it real.
I like you. I wanna get to know you, I wanna fuck you. I wanna be your friend. I love you. I don't want a girlfriend. I don't want to marry you. I don't want a girlfriend. I'll be there, I won't be there, Good luck with him. Good luck with me. Runaway!

Tony does not throw empty words around. The women I am into like that KNOW where they stand, and know where I stand. And at the end of the day love has nothing to do with it. I gotta be happy about me and where I'm at first. I suggest you do the same. I don't have to plot scheme and double team someone for their affection and more than anything I think my biggest irk is not being taking seriously for my word. Or being called a liar.
I really just want people to be as real with me as I am with them. And thank God some of you are. So just be real with me and don't hold back. Hell hurt me if you can. I love all avenues of emotion, gives me something to write about, a story to tell in my old age even. Besides, we all know how true emotion and intentions bleed right thru the poker face of most people.

The book is open. The blog has spoken.

be cool

High Society?

The Good, The bad, The ugly.

I am just getting home from a wedding reception of a good friend and/or associate of mine who by topeka standards is for lack of better words a "rich man".

I truly must admit that in the midst of car salesman, business owners, lawyers, and insurance agents, (most of whom I met are self employed and quite successful) I do not recommend being amongst these individuals if your self image is already tainted. The high notes of my evening were time spent with peers and good friend of whom I have already come to know due to certain company I keep in daily life. As well as being introduce to the owner and invited to a club usually reserved for business men, that I do intend to join (Mainly due to the level of food and service I am told they provide). But let me do this right, because I do not intend to just transcribe the night.

There were awkward moments that made my mind travel, and that all together I did not like. Like being brushed of by the bride and hearing a very rich lawyers wife refer to me as "E.T." Haha, which oddly enough I found amusing. Russ Briggs, though probably intoxicated ruined my name after being introduced to me, but overall I enjoyed the conversations I had and took in the information as a sponge would water.

There was a time I took much to many things to heart, so I enjoy now how my 32 year old mind works in the mist of those I would consider less than decent people. Meaning that if I do not respect you or your conduct as a human being, I don't much respect your opinion on much else. Not that I can confirm many at this event, if I had to I could name a few. And while I do not know if their attitude is due to money or my race, though I would lean more toward money, which made me think of my conduct towards those who are less fortunate than myself. I know and believe more money will come into my possession in the future, I do not want to loose the empathy and brotherhood I hold with all the people I meet and have met in life.

And with that said there were indeed some good people and good conversation in which I was honored to engage in tonight and I very much hope to again. I enjoy listening to people as much as I enjoy running my mouth when I have the chance. And I have always looked fondly on the opportunity that lies within each and everyday of this life we live.