My Two Cents....

Today I went to church and a message was delivered to me that I don't think I can ignore. "Have you let your talents be used in God's work?" I've used this page in the past to "show my ass" for the most part, and have been good at it mind you. But as of now focus has changed, with a slight twist of course cause I'm twisted.

For those of you about "points" the point of my page initially was to show change. I like to analyze and I especially like to analyze myself. Looking back on old posts I've written on here I've been able to look at myself from the 3rd person. Because I wanted to see what it was about me that made some people adore me, while others despised me. I've found that at times I'm quite vulnerable, while at other times just full of myself (I like those times by the way). But other times I really have something to say and while I don't get the comments I like when I deal into the fundamentals of life, I do like the phone calls and thank yous for posts like "Jesus was a man people".

I intend to write alot more posts like that because I think I have something to say when it comes to religion as a whole. And I believe I should use my talents to glorify God being that he's done so much for me. But I'm still me so there will be a twist, just so long as I can still sleep at night. Incase some of you didn't know I haven't worked for like 3 monts now. Thru true friends and Jesus I still have EVERYTHING. And it's good. Now...."the letters", I really thought people would see the big picture but I over estimated the intellect and maturity of some of the poeple who read my posts, I apologize. While being stuck on myself I forgot that they too contribute to why people come here and read what it is I have to say, and I apologize.
So with out condemming myself to hell and taking a few others with me I intend to write posts on bible related scriptures and still of course give my opinion, some example i've seen in life etc, etc, and just take if from there. I've been scanning thru it quite a bit lately and incase ya didn't know it has a ton of life drama in it from love stories to back stabbers, gossip and what have you. So I hope I gain support in this indeavor and that you pray for me to get the right messages across. And I hope that can be as special to each of you as you are to me......even the haters.


P.S. Don't think for a minute i'm gonna try to be on here preaching to people, that aint my bag.
but I am gonna have plenty to talk about.

Yall be cool. 

Sleeping with the enemy.

/Anthony

FOR THE SECOND TIME i DIDNT TELL BRYSON TO CALL YOU.
I ASKED HIM AND HE SAID HE DIDN'T CALL YOU. I DON'T APPRECIATE YOU RUNNING
TO SHAUNEL'LE WITH ALL YOUR QUESTIONS ABOUT ME OR COMMENTS
YOU WANT TO TELL HER ABOUT ME EITHER.
EVERY TIME I TALK TO YOU PROBLEMS GET CAUSED SO I GUESS
THIS IS GOING TO HAVE TO BE A "HI AND BYE" RELATIONSHIP.

BYE !!
~ /
She was cheating on me.....with that guy.

My fault, I was trying to make a broken relationship work. I used to do that all the time. I gave women so much power over me. Captured by beauty and lust (i think anyway). I always fell in love. Probably why I have such a low tolerance for women I talk to now, though I'm getting better, nobodies perfect right. I"ve been cheated on by atleast two women that I know of anyway. Each time I saw it coming, but I didn't want to believe that my sweet precious love would do such a thing. Looking back, it was disgusting. In truth as my buddy Love Jones put it though, '2 girls hurt my feeling and I know it's not your fault...........but it aint mines.

Holla.

OOPS!

Gonna hop around a bit, this one should be more embarrassing for me.
Back story is, this was the second girl I ever slept with. She was kinda popular but anyway. After knowning each other for about 2 weeks, we had sex, and sex, and sex, and sex. I thought I was in love, lots of letters went back and forth between us in the year of 98. Short of the long is she came thru, laid down and went to sleep. (I still don't think she was sleep). I figured I'd "stir it like mu'fuckin coffee" , if ya know what I mean.
(try to get some sex in other words) She hops up like whats going on. Quitely begins putting on her shoes, while she ties one I quietly tie the other. Then she's gone....no I didn't stop her. I was kinda shook really.
Next day I get this.

/Anthony,

Hey what in the hell is wrong with you? That wasn't even coo. Why you hurt me like that? I think it's safe to say I can classify you in the same group as with the rest of them
niggas. What I think about it, I though you was different. I guess thats what I get for thinking.
Now can you see why scared to fall in love.


****/

bullshit

Lil did I know that would be one of many very confusing days, and notes like these.
Misunderstandings, and mishaps.

First One

Fresh of the plane from the ATL, back in fucking Topeka. A highschool dropout who came back. My pursuit for the coveted HS diploma is sidetracked by who else but women. Incase your wondering I got that diploma though.





Sept, 1997
/Anthony,

Hey whats up? I didn't think I'd ever do this and I bet you never thought I would do something this dumb to get your attention. Justin was supposed to ask you what you were doing tonight but he insisted that I do it. I'm not sure what to say though. I finally got the courage to call you and I left a message at your work, but some guy named Tony called back. I'm not sure what we're doing yet, but if you're not busy would you like to do something with Justin, Jenn, and me? Justin's meting us at KFC around 11:30. It's no big deal, but it would be really nice if you came with us. If not that's fine. Well this was really embarrassing.
I'll let you go.

Sincerely,
****

p.S. Did you know Justin thinks you're attractive? Just wondering.
Well thats kind of how I figured he felt when he described you to me./

(Damn near every girl Justin introduced me to that year like me. He was getting tired of it, and that was just an ongoing joke at that point. Wish I had was he said wrote down though.)