The Paradox

 

My ambition.

Production? Check. Lyrics? Check. Resources, associates, fans? Check.............I'm good?
Would you all like to know the paradox of my life?
I've almost always been able to accomplish my goals. Yet with every success and hurdle leaped, I loose out on those in my personal life. Some thru neglect on my part, and others I have no fucking idea. But I'm doing good right. Lately I've been trying to figure out why I can't leave more of an impression in peoples lives, especially those I've considered quite close to me. LOL, I've realized recently that most women actually use ME. Either for sex or conversation. I know that my previous post confused alot of people, I apologize. Sometimes the future frightens me and I needed to vent. The storm I spoke of has arrived and I intend to weather it, because that's what I do. LOL, I've been praying for a wife lately. I guess I'm growing up or something. To those who know me this would be surprising, I was never one for such talk just a few years ago. Funny how change comes. I have all I've ever really wanted except someone to share it all with, and someone who will be if it all blows away. But people blow away too, and I know people come and go. I just need ONE who will stick around, and who I want around for that matter. Thus far that as been asking too much of life. I want my swag back though. Part of me still doesn't wanna give a fuck and have poeple hate me for it. I felt stronger then. Just maybe I can have someone that I can be against the world with for a change. I do my victory dances alone at the moment. Damn I'm still ranting. Anyway, NO I'm not doing good, and YES I'm doing better than ever. I'm not ungrateful. I just had people around me who didn't really give a fuck about me, and people wonder why I'm such a hard ass, you need thick skin for this shit. I'm gonna rant and vent until my frustration passes.
Because I haven't forgotten that I write this blog mostly for me and I shall continue to. So for those who are still reading, stick around. As I've said before, I'll smile again. Be cool yall. Pray for a Man.