You ever wake up in the middle of the night and your brain is just blowing thru information like a rabbit on speed? I have. Most recently as a matter of fact. Because I'm kinda pissed. And I really wanna get my hands on cupid so I can kick his ass. Ya know, I mostly hold back from the things I want to say because although I don't get the kind of traffic I used to on this blog. I know people are still stopping by every once and awhile and I guess I care more than I let on about hurting peoples feelings, or pissing someone off. Better yet I'll go about this in a round about way.
I don't understand women. I know people okay, but I don't understand women. Especially in relation to me. I've stated this before and I'll state it again. If you happen to find yourself actually falling for my skinny ass, I will most likely be clueless. You have to tell me at some point. With that said I don't want to know when it's too late! I've had more than my share of women after they get married or are in an exclusive relationship tell me how much of a crush or attraction they had for me when they were single. See usually I have, or at some point will hit on my friends. When I meet a woman I really just wanna kickit. I really just wanna make a friend. But I sleep with my friends if I'm really into them (though at a time in my life I did even if i wasn't)..... had the opportunity presented itself. I've been single so long what am I suppose to do? Don't answer that question.
Further more, contrary to popular belief, I'm not a dog. I don't just sleep around with random women. And I'm quite capable of handling long term relationships, though they have mostly fell on my terms as of late.
I was in a loving relationship for more than 3 years in my early twenties so I know what love is.
I loved her like I love my sister. I loved her like I love my mother. She did wrong and I forgave her. She cheated on me and I forgave her. She broke my heart then crushed it over and over with the heels of her boots...... and I forgave her. We didn't stay together and at times I hated her, but I forgave her. We hardly speak now and I don't much care if I ever see her again in life. But I have forgiving her. What I learned is that she did not love me. And when you love someone forgiving is infinite. After her the bar was risen. No one ever loved her like I did and no one ever will. And still that isn't me saying no one will love her again.
Back to my point. Love is not that difficult. I know people who have loved each other there entire lives. It's not easy dealing with most anyone over the years but that type of glue keeps you together thru all kinds of shit. IT'S THE BOND THAT ISN'T DIFFICULT. The power of it, that makes people do stupid shit and turn their nose to the world for that glory of love. I'll pass judgement because I've been loved as I have loved, but I didn't play games with it. I kept it very clear where my feeling were because what goes around comes around.
This Lemon cake is good. And I don't even really like lemons.
This milk gives me gas, but I'll drink it anyway.
......Like a moth to a flame. Funny. I'm not good with women, but I still put myself thru the trails that come with them.
And something tells me this is normal. But I'm ranting again, I really think this is turning into a rant that will eventually spiral into nothing of coherency -so-I-will-stop-now.
Surely someone knows what the hell I'm talking about.
I'm going back to bed.
be cool
4 comments:
It was lime.
I hope u do realize you told I lie in this post per say ! You weren't real clear on being honest about you feelings 4 months ago !
Have you ever considered the possibility that maybe you are not the easier person to talk to when it comes to matters of the heart? Have you ever tried telling a woman how you felt first, I would hope that you would've at some point and time but if not, then why not? Scared of rejection maybe?? You said you were pretty much oblivious of a woman's feelings for you, I can understand that at first, but after awhile you should be able to pick up on signs, there are always signs...maybe you're not looking hard enough or just don't care until it's too late (it seems most men do that...that's just my personal opinion) Oh and if a woman sleeps with you long enough, more times than not she's gonna start catching feelings...soooo maybe you should stop bangin just friends.
It's nice to know that you don't hold any resentment or bitterness in your heart for the woman that hurt you, it takes a whole lot to say you forgive someone and truly mean it, kudos to you...but to say no one ever loved her like you did and no one ever will was a bold statement to make. Is Anthony's love as good as it gets...and honestly I'm not tryna talk shit, I'm just tryna see if that's how you really feel I guess.
Do you really believe love is not difficult? Falling in love is not difficult, staying there is...love itself is not enough, to fall in love and stay there and still continue to have a healthy and loving relationship takes some serious dedication...people don't like saying staying in love is work, but really isn't that what it is, I mean you work for your success...wouldn't it be working for the success of your relationship.
Wow I didn't realize how much I wrote, and although I am currently feeling a little intoxicated off this NyQuil I still stick by what I said..I just hope it makes sense.
PS: NyQuil is the devil and I really don't like this feeling...but I had to take it because I wasn't feeling well.
Nikki
Good one. Get well Nikki. Seeing you on your writing game has made my heart fond of you at this moment.
take care. p.s. "Bangin" still the terminology you use? Really??
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