Ok, lets talk about trust. This blow is severe, a critical hit. This IS me on the ropes after someone I consider close slipped me a mickey, patted me on the back and sent me into an arena with wolves. And it's amazing right now that I'm not panicked or angry.
In posts before I've stated that I was on my way to something horrible in my life, which could be at this moment why I'm so calm.
I share this with the masses mainly because I want to look back on day and this post and admire my calm. I trusted someone and they fucked me. They fucked my reputation, they fucked my finances, and they've fucked me in the head a little more on how I will deal with others in the future. And this is just the beginning. All of my plans for the future at this point will be put on hold unfortunately for now. Haters will take they best shots and gawk at the falling star. Truly if anyone has awaited my downfall, this is your time!! Revel in it!! And all this from someone I trusted. Trust.
On the personal side. At night for the last 10 years all I ask God for in this world is a "peace of mind" and "Strength". Nothing is promised here, and shit happens to good and bad people everyday. I only wanted what could not be taken from me, and that is all I pray for. A man wants to be a better cook, he spends a lot of time in the kitchen, a man wants to be a better fighter, he logs more time in the ring. I want the mental strength and peace of mind to handle the hardships that are set before me, so this is another training session. And this is intense. This is Public. This hurts. This will pass.
This is because I trusted someone when they looked me in the eyes and told me THEIR truth. Ultimately I blame no one but myself. I made decisions and I will pay for them.
I forgive you. I thank you.
"No one has hurt me more than you. And no one ever will."
3 comments:
Hello hello. Remember you are NOT a victim and with that said do not create your future around this incident. Do not allow it to dictate life nor command "how I deal with others in the future." I am proud of you for your present composure. You are a strong man remember that....God has heard and granted your prayers, your present state of mind shows exactly that. Continue to keep your head up and walk by faith.
oh my anthony that was out of the blue, this individual isnt whom i think it is
i doubt it
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