Arrogance & Fear

ThaONlyONe


I fell in love once, and i'll be the first to say that it is wonderland.
I'm sure the devil can relate that "when in heaven, ANY other place is hell"
And in my hell nothing really fulfills me, I'm not exactly bitter, but since the fall I haven't really been able to find someone to fill the void.
This is a public apology to all the ladies I've been with sexually or anything else for that matter, aswell as a thank you. Sorry I didn't stick around, but thanks for the time spent, I mean thats all we doing in this life anyway is finding shit to do till it's time to go.

I think it's a dream but I've had these apparitions come to me when i'm like just waking up, and they scare the shit out of me. I mean i'd probably shit if i could even move but I'm too terrified.
Hehe no bullshit it's like a primal fear, i go into caveman mode, like a deer trapped in the headlights. I've been telling myself that they're my inner demons/the inner war within myself, but i'm not psycologist.
The last 2 years i've been kinda forcing myself into these pointless relationships mainly because I'd really like to be in a monogomous(and i'm sure i spelled that wrong, hehe typical guy) relationship. Still it's so obvious to me that I've become really picky, easily bored, and at times a bit repulsed. I'm difficult to be with. DAMn. Takin it in. And I think thats spilled over into the friends arena of my life as well. Trust as become diffuclt too as of late.

LOL btw I'm really arrogant now, and I don't know where that came from. My life is going really good now and I do feel like i'm the shit these days. Anyone who can't feel it is hating, fuck'em. For example.(I'll let the arrogance take hold for the rest of this post hehe)

I KNOW i'm good. A diamond if you will. All my shit is str8, I have one son that I take care of and not cause I feel I have to, cause i want to. I BALL, and legally so the law ain't comin for my shit. And no one really likes it when I say I Ball cause I say it alot now hehe, but I really do Ball, there aint one person who reads this stuff and knows me that'll say otherwise. I could step out this bitch into the world today and bring home whatever I want. Shit I only bought my Bimmer a few months ago because I was bored. Not only that but I try to stay humble, i mean i know i could loose all this shit tomorrow and i'm cool with that. I've lost before, my huslte is REMARKABLE, believe me when i say I came from the bottom, came up, got knocked back down, then got back up and got even more.
My Ballin as been in question before if you read some of these back post, I come thru.
Anyway i'm done with this, parting words.
To know me, is to love me.
Yall be cool.
One.

Saturated