Driftwood

I'm just floating right now man.
8 track press play shit. No real direction, just coasting in the mainstream.

Ya know. I made a lot of bad decisions the last four years. I think I am just gonna hit cruise on this next one and chill the fuck out.

So anyway.
I'm good, the foods good, those women over there are pretty, and I like this car. I don't want no trouble from you all man, I'm just chilling. I wanna take you out some time sista, and I don't care if you fucking or not. I just love a woman's conversation.
I miss My niggaz, my peoples, my peeps, my click, my Cool De Las.
Miss breaking bread like Jesus did with my disciples, but they on they journeys and I am happy for them. I close my eyes and I open them. I love the way the sunshine and illuminates my room in the morning. And in my solitude I smile. I am at peace with myself.

Ya know I stopped writing for awhile because I just felt like I was loosing it. I can't be getting on here the few times I do and just talk about my problems. We all got problems right? Still, I gotta keep going at this to get my swag back. Because I love me! And I love what we do! And it is time to get back to business as usual. Damnit!!
I'm taking my arrogance back man, because I just spent most of the last 2 years around some fake ass people and one in particular who didn't even like the awesome muthafucka that I am.

2am.
Wide awake with words.
Writing as natural as I breathe, drunk or sober.
My heart is at home in these sweetest of moments. My hands love the stroke of the keys, because creating is so much better than sex most times. Laying out the blueprints of the human mind and experience to be looked upon when these eyes have aged beyond their youth. I wonder now what the old man will make of it.
I bet he will say that it was all so complicated to the point that we made such a fuss over simple decisions. Because a decision can last you a lifetime.
I told my son that once, over and over again. :)

And sometimes I wanna be somebody else. And sometimes I wanna just die.............. but I'm alive. And life is about feeling like that sometimes. Because sometimes we fall, we crack, we break, we cry, and we shy from the sun.

In those moments i never forget that we also have fun, have conversation, have awesome sex, see good movies, good art, make new friends, new experiences, and tomorrow can be just as full of wonderful possibilities as yesterdays bad.

And once again, we lie in the sun.

I'm smiling.