Reflection Eternal

Growing up,
I reveled in my youth. All of it's emotion, feelings, flavors, colors, and places.
Walked in the bitter cold woods of (Cold war) West Germany and enjoyed hot cocoa at the end of the trek in laughter amongst my friends. In Georgia I hiked through woods along the Chattahoochee River, chopping down trees, and fishing.
Played baseball, football, and ran track.

I have dined in the streets of Paris France. Spent three years of my preteens walking the same streets as Anne Frank in Frankfurt Germany (at around the same age). Born in Hawaii, raised in NY when not abroad. Even trekked the streets of Brooklyn in the late night for takeout chinese. So with all of it's problems.
Growing up was a beautiful struggle.

New shoes, old shoes
New cars, and more cars and bi-cycles to motor-cycles.
money, Money, MONEY.
girls, Girls, Women.
Ramen, to Ribs, Ribs to Crab, Lobster, and mignon. This list goes on.
In spite of my self I have been blessed.
So many books read, so many lessons.
A heart broken, who's broken hearts. And now I wonder how my time has defined me.
Me of so many words and still sometimes I remain silent.
Thirty-two years, (17 in kansas) who is my light?
Who have I touched that will stand testament to me?
In my time not after it.

Arrogant because I did it extravagant.
Selfish when I was selfless, and misunderstood from where I stood.
An Asshole, especially to the women I mashed thru, but you was just fucking me too boo.
And sometimes I'm just eight again, hotwheels on and 80's binge.
Listening to Billy Ocean, Def Leppard, and Rakim.
A-men.

I live across the street from a highschool now.
So envious of those years because as a teenager I had to grow up so fast.
So sometimes I feel as if I haven't grown up at all. If you understand my meaning.
WoW.
A light just came on.
My teenage years haunt me to this day. To the point that I don't even like being around teenagers. I'm jealous.
I knew even at 16 that I would never get it back, but what could i do?
I had to make it. Then it was for him or (who I am now). Now it is for him or (who I was who made it).

Arrogant, Asshole, Coward, Self-centered, Hmmm......
I think back, and pls correct me if I am wrong but,
When you needed me, I was there, when you spoke I listened.
I still got mad shit on my plate yo. I mean really, more money is more problems, and I can't seem to stay out of the
white man's courthouse to discuss my money, my affairs, and my life.

Arrogant, Asshole, Coward, Self-centered, Hmmm........
Where was you?