Feeling Collage (A Novelty)

No one will understand this.

The Speed Of Sound plays in my background. I Run my fingers through my head as if it is a new beginning and wish for another moment to drown out the voices in my head. How did it all begin, I want to understand. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Inhale this world. Smile.
I don't want to puzzle the pieces of the unfortunate. I just want to leave them where they lay and Move The FUCK ON. Appreciate My artistry. My passion. My moment here in this beautiful, chaotic world. Massage my shoulders. Everyday.
She will understand, she will understand, she will understand. I need someone to lean on. Still I will press on alone, because I am strong. Do you, see thru me. Do you, pay attention. Do you care. RHETORIC. I've changed, I SMile. Smile.

Do I love writing? Or do I love to hear myself talk?
Who am I now? Am I a total stranger to the child i once witnessed in the mirror? There you are! I see you when I smile!
And I smile. I'll always be waiting for you. Truly I will. You warm my heart with Tears. I love you so much. So Very much.
They won't understand and I will be oblivious because they do not matter in these moments cherished.
Cherished.
Speak slow and maybe it will last a bit longer. Speak true and it will last forever, and ever.
The stars shine for you. Tis your turn. lol, Revel in the moment.
Still there??
SMiLe. Smile for me.
Thank you.

DAMn......

I know now that I need to leave this place. I'm not from here and it's draining me. I worry about my path in life if I continue it in the state of Kansas. I'd almost forgotten how weird this place is since I first got here. I think I've been engulfed in it. I've manage in my daily affairs to loose more friends early in the year. It has become customary for me to loose friends here.....lol, maybe it's just me. Really I think this place is just draining me. I'm getting really sick of women especially as of late. "AND NO I'M NOT GAY, NOR TO I INTEND TO BE". I just can't stand the stupid shit they do. The mood swings, the shallowness, and at times just down right mean, and thoughtless, self centered types of attitudes. And I didn't come to this conclusion just because some woman broke my heart. I run into alot of women doing shows, going to the club, as well as other social gatherings...... or again maybe it's just me, though i doubt that. I could go on for days on that subject.

I really think it's just the people here though, and at this point I feel I've worn out my welcome here. This is not my home, I'm gonna stop telling my self it is. I've really sat and thought this out though, I need change. I need to get away from here. It's just not realistic to up and move at this point with the way things are going in this economy. How does one leave a life as materially blessed as mine to start all over again in a new town? I'm open for suggestions because I would very much like to make this happen.
My heart is broken though. I've lost faith in the people around me as well this place I'm forced to call my habitat. I'm ready to make it all a chapter in my life that i leave behind.

be cool yall.

ps. I know I'm down now sorry about that yo, but stick around. I'll smile again.

For the Love

 

Everyone Has That Favorite Artist. For me, no one came closer than Tupac Shakur. When I first saw him in Juice I was like "Fuck Bishop" lol, and "Brenda's gotta baby" was just too depressing for me as a 12 year old. I moved to Kansas in 1994 and got into ordering music thru BMG music group. "STRICKLY FOR MY NIGGAZ" was like an awakening for me. If you haven't heard this album I suggest you get it. The rest is history and now my favorite artist is an icon and loved by all, and what was once a at time exclusive preference, it is now so clique to say you love 2pac.

I miss him daily, and often at times put myself thru the possibilities of what would be now if he where still alive. Still I understand that his premature death has fulfilled a legacy that he often wished for himself.

This Month I'll be 30. THIRTY!! WoW!! Ya know?
Funny how these things happen. Oh and not surprisingly I rap. I mean who doesn't rap. LOL, no but I really rap, like I sound good, I'm GOOD at this. But music has changed so much and I'm feeling like a relic of a time lost though everyone tells me how dope I am, the hustle of it all just isn't what I thought it would be. THE MARKET IS FLOODED. It's cool though be cause I have a new favorite artist now, a new exclusive preference. ME! Adullessence. And he is dope. You don't believe me?!
www.myspace.com/lessence
check it out, and tell me I'm not gonna be alright.
I love writing, and I'm gonna take this shit to my grave, may God bless you, as he has blessed me.
Word up.

She's Mine

 

So anyway I was chilling wit this Very Attractive female the other day. And I couldn't help but mentioning a topic that happen to be on my mind. Now I won't front, I've had my share of pretty women from time to time, but usually when you step to these women they've heard so much shit since they were twelve it's like they're always on "protected by viper, stand back" mode. Fellas know what I'm talking about.

Anyway I said the right things this time and opened her up to the kind of conversation I tend to enjoy. Topic of the day? "Isn't it funny how men can see you in the same light that they see a car, new kicks, even jewelry?" A (Status Quo) I'm sure it's nothing new, but most of the time women are seen as objects to be obtained. Like nice clothing, nice cars, Money. You get the picture. I've seldom met a woman who looked at men in that fashion. Not to say that as a whole they don't. Even I've found myself dealing with women who were no good simply to get off on being seen with them in public. It's shallow, but it happens. It's funny what you put up with from someone who's easy on the eyes, lol.
(side note) it's been said,
"A woman's life is love, a man's love is life."

I'm getting older though. And in my age I've come to take more notice of qualities that physical appearance can't hold up to. Quailities like character, ambition, work ethic, and my favorite....social skills. Some women get by on looks so much, it's the only quality they have. Don't get my wrong though people, it's always fun to sleep with really pretty women, but as time has went by a priority I've always known takes president. In the end we are all just looking for a best friend that we can kick it with and fuck, lol. Good Times.

yall be cool.

The Comedian

 

Thank you Bernie Mac.
For making me laugh since I was like 12 years old. I just wanted to take the time on this day of your death to appreciate you as I'm sure we all have, for giving us joy in our lives. 50 years is not an idea length of time most of us want here. Still, I'd like to take the time to celebrate your 50 years, because I just know you enjoyed them. God bless you brother. And God bless your family. Because at the end of the day, we all adored you for how much you reminded us of ourselves, and our families. God bless.

The Paradox

 

My ambition.

Production? Check. Lyrics? Check. Resources, associates, fans? Check.............I'm good?
Would you all like to know the paradox of my life?
I've almost always been able to accomplish my goals. Yet with every success and hurdle leaped, I loose out on those in my personal life. Some thru neglect on my part, and others I have no fucking idea. But I'm doing good right. Lately I've been trying to figure out why I can't leave more of an impression in peoples lives, especially those I've considered quite close to me. LOL, I've realized recently that most women actually use ME. Either for sex or conversation. I know that my previous post confused alot of people, I apologize. Sometimes the future frightens me and I needed to vent. The storm I spoke of has arrived and I intend to weather it, because that's what I do. LOL, I've been praying for a wife lately. I guess I'm growing up or something. To those who know me this would be surprising, I was never one for such talk just a few years ago. Funny how change comes. I have all I've ever really wanted except someone to share it all with, and someone who will be if it all blows away. But people blow away too, and I know people come and go. I just need ONE who will stick around, and who I want around for that matter. Thus far that as been asking too much of life. I want my swag back though. Part of me still doesn't wanna give a fuck and have poeple hate me for it. I felt stronger then. Just maybe I can have someone that I can be against the world with for a change. I do my victory dances alone at the moment. Damn I'm still ranting. Anyway, NO I'm not doing good, and YES I'm doing better than ever. I'm not ungrateful. I just had people around me who didn't really give a fuck about me, and people wonder why I'm such a hard ass, you need thick skin for this shit. I'm gonna rant and vent until my frustration passes.
Because I haven't forgotten that I write this blog mostly for me and I shall continue to. So for those who are still reading, stick around. As I've said before, I'll smile again. Be cool yall. Pray for a Man.

Bleeding Hope "The Rant"

 


Success is all around me. My home, my cars, certain love interests, money and friends.
Not to mention the music. The music which has taken me so long so get heard by those who would listen, and get me away from this simple happy life.
I left the studio yesterday and heard what is to come with a jubilation I've never known before hearing my own voice to songs I wrote that take on a life of thier own. I'm reaching the summit of a climb that has taken so long and I thank God and Jesus that from this high position I've been placed upon, I can watch the dawn.
Still....something wicked this way comes. A new calling that has frieghtened me I must admit. Unknownling I've chosen a path that cannot be retraced so I must pray for strength. In this life what else is there to do?

Did I mention I hate chain letters.

Damn I feel so abandoned and my faith in my fellow kind is fleeting with the days. Not saying I'm much better. We all seem so selfish. Why so insightful Anthony, why? Sometimes I wish I was ignorant, happy with what is put before me, and believed in Santa Claus. So tired, so confused, so focused, and so hopless. I just wanna be ready to die. Not meaning that I want to or that I don't. I just don't wanna give a fuck. My favorite word is Serenity.
I need that. I'm cold. My heart is broken and my health fades with my lack of optimism. I don't want advice, I just want it to go away. Or maybe I just need help.
Holla.

Sentimental Sometimes

Later in life I'm sure this post my come back to bite me in the ass.
But.... Ever since my bike accident I've been quite weak when watching movies that inspire emotional feedback. In other words if there is a bad, sad, or good ending of great emotion where I used to point and laugh or talk shit. Now I just sit there like a bitch while emotion takes over me as I suppress the urge to smile or frown while simultaneously hold back tears from eyes that always seem to water up.
Sad isn't it?

Todays culprit. The movie Cast Away. Ya know the part when they meet again and your thinking, "Damn she thought he was dead and now he's here, but she married the dentist, and he fucked, and they got kids. Damn and he only made it thru all that shit to be with her." Fucked me up man.
Some of the man is still in me. Like the little voice that wanted to shout at the tv, "Yo man fuck that dude up. He took ya woman. Fuck how long you've been gone she should have waited forever, fuck him up." And the urge to root for really fucked up shit to happen like seeing her hop in the ride with him and just dip out towards the very end with no regard for husband and child left behind.
Funny how we watch movies sometimes hoping for a different outcome.

Probably just should have cried about all the stuff that happen to me that day of the accident and got it out the way. I held back though. Maybe I still am?

Yall be cool.

Shitty Set Backs, but it's looking up.

New MIxTape out. "Love Potion #9" Checkit out on my myspace it you haven't already. The entire download info is on my man LoveJOnes site.

Hmmm, anyway I've lost some friends which is typical though I'm not loosing any sleep over it. Still single by choice and nothing monumental has changed other than I've been writing songs like crazy. I don't know where it's coming from but it's good. Unfortunately if you let some tell it (especially women) I'm still an asshole. Some girl told me I was needy which I thought was hilarious, got dissed again by an old nemesis (another girl), and meanwhile dealing with the ones still in my life who are trying to control me for the most part.

Lately, I've grown really sick of the games people play. I don't like how I'll say one thing, and after that it's being decoded like theres something deeper. Meanwhile i'm getting all these coded messages that i'm suppose to figure out. I mean what I mean what I say, and say what I mean.

And for the record I don't play games with women, I don't lie to them, I'm not a player, I don't think I'm better than anyone because of what I have, and I don't throw my success in anyones face. I am proud of myself and I speak on that from time to time, because I used to be broke as fuck. I've been thru shit that ain't easy to climb. And I had people holding me back while I was getting where I wanted to be. LOL, but i'm good..... today anyway.

This feels kinda like a rerun I know. I've gone over this before I know, but I'm still defending myself and the public view of me. Could be because of my attitude towards things I don't know. Anyway not that that's over wit and I have another computer it's time for me to get back to business on here. No pics as of yet but they will be coming soon. 08's gonna be a good year. Oh and we're doing a show at bullfrogs live this 26th the day after christmas.

I gotta get going so I'll holla. Yall be cool.

P.S. Thank nikki for this wack ass post. I don't know why I let her get into my head.

R U Still Down?

Okay this was not easy. I've been granted access to my account once again and so much has transpired since my last post so many months ago. Seems like a year to me. My computer is still messed up so I can't go about in my normal fashion which is very disappointing so the nintendo Wii is earning it's keep right now. Oh yeah thanks, and sorry to those of you who have weathered my vocal rants, I didn't have an outlet so I had to use you...think of it in a good way. Real posts will be on the way so haters mount up and lets get this show on the road shall we?

It's good to be back.

My Two Cents....

Today I went to church and a message was delivered to me that I don't think I can ignore. "Have you let your talents be used in God's work?" I've used this page in the past to "show my ass" for the most part, and have been good at it mind you. But as of now focus has changed, with a slight twist of course cause I'm twisted.

For those of you about "points" the point of my page initially was to show change. I like to analyze and I especially like to analyze myself. Looking back on old posts I've written on here I've been able to look at myself from the 3rd person. Because I wanted to see what it was about me that made some people adore me, while others despised me. I've found that at times I'm quite vulnerable, while at other times just full of myself (I like those times by the way). But other times I really have something to say and while I don't get the comments I like when I deal into the fundamentals of life, I do like the phone calls and thank yous for posts like "Jesus was a man people".

I intend to write alot more posts like that because I think I have something to say when it comes to religion as a whole. And I believe I should use my talents to glorify God being that he's done so much for me. But I'm still me so there will be a twist, just so long as I can still sleep at night. Incase some of you didn't know I haven't worked for like 3 monts now. Thru true friends and Jesus I still have EVERYTHING. And it's good. Now...."the letters", I really thought people would see the big picture but I over estimated the intellect and maturity of some of the poeple who read my posts, I apologize. While being stuck on myself I forgot that they too contribute to why people come here and read what it is I have to say, and I apologize.
So with out condemming myself to hell and taking a few others with me I intend to write posts on bible related scriptures and still of course give my opinion, some example i've seen in life etc, etc, and just take if from there. I've been scanning thru it quite a bit lately and incase ya didn't know it has a ton of life drama in it from love stories to back stabbers, gossip and what have you. So I hope I gain support in this indeavor and that you pray for me to get the right messages across. And I hope that can be as special to each of you as you are to me......even the haters.


P.S. Don't think for a minute i'm gonna try to be on here preaching to people, that aint my bag.
but I am gonna have plenty to talk about.

Yall be cool. 

Sleeping with the enemy.

/Anthony

FOR THE SECOND TIME i DIDNT TELL BRYSON TO CALL YOU.
I ASKED HIM AND HE SAID HE DIDN'T CALL YOU. I DON'T APPRECIATE YOU RUNNING
TO SHAUNEL'LE WITH ALL YOUR QUESTIONS ABOUT ME OR COMMENTS
YOU WANT TO TELL HER ABOUT ME EITHER.
EVERY TIME I TALK TO YOU PROBLEMS GET CAUSED SO I GUESS
THIS IS GOING TO HAVE TO BE A "HI AND BYE" RELATIONSHIP.

BYE !!
~ /
She was cheating on me.....with that guy.

My fault, I was trying to make a broken relationship work. I used to do that all the time. I gave women so much power over me. Captured by beauty and lust (i think anyway). I always fell in love. Probably why I have such a low tolerance for women I talk to now, though I'm getting better, nobodies perfect right. I"ve been cheated on by atleast two women that I know of anyway. Each time I saw it coming, but I didn't want to believe that my sweet precious love would do such a thing. Looking back, it was disgusting. In truth as my buddy Love Jones put it though, '2 girls hurt my feeling and I know it's not your fault...........but it aint mines.

Holla.

OOPS!

Gonna hop around a bit, this one should be more embarrassing for me.
Back story is, this was the second girl I ever slept with. She was kinda popular but anyway. After knowning each other for about 2 weeks, we had sex, and sex, and sex, and sex. I thought I was in love, lots of letters went back and forth between us in the year of 98. Short of the long is she came thru, laid down and went to sleep. (I still don't think she was sleep). I figured I'd "stir it like mu'fuckin coffee" , if ya know what I mean.
(try to get some sex in other words) She hops up like whats going on. Quitely begins putting on her shoes, while she ties one I quietly tie the other. Then she's gone....no I didn't stop her. I was kinda shook really.
Next day I get this.

/Anthony,

Hey what in the hell is wrong with you? That wasn't even coo. Why you hurt me like that? I think it's safe to say I can classify you in the same group as with the rest of them
niggas. What I think about it, I though you was different. I guess thats what I get for thinking.
Now can you see why scared to fall in love.


****/

bullshit

Lil did I know that would be one of many very confusing days, and notes like these.
Misunderstandings, and mishaps.

First One

Fresh of the plane from the ATL, back in fucking Topeka. A highschool dropout who came back. My pursuit for the coveted HS diploma is sidetracked by who else but women. Incase your wondering I got that diploma though.





Sept, 1997
/Anthony,

Hey whats up? I didn't think I'd ever do this and I bet you never thought I would do something this dumb to get your attention. Justin was supposed to ask you what you were doing tonight but he insisted that I do it. I'm not sure what to say though. I finally got the courage to call you and I left a message at your work, but some guy named Tony called back. I'm not sure what we're doing yet, but if you're not busy would you like to do something with Justin, Jenn, and me? Justin's meting us at KFC around 11:30. It's no big deal, but it would be really nice if you came with us. If not that's fine. Well this was really embarrassing.
I'll let you go.

Sincerely,
****

p.S. Did you know Justin thinks you're attractive? Just wondering.
Well thats kind of how I figured he felt when he described you to me./

(Damn near every girl Justin introduced me to that year like me. He was getting tired of it, and that was just an ongoing joke at that point. Wish I had was he said wrote down though.)

The Letters

Ok, well I'm feeling kinda lazy so I came up with this great idea. The whole "perfect guy, perfect girl" thing bores me so I'm gonna do something else. I've closed a chapter in my life, and as a result, I'm gonna scribe nearly every letter, love note, hate note, etc. that I've ever recieved in the past few years for your reading pleasure. I think it'll be cool, and I hope you enjoy it. Not only that but I manage to get some of the stuff I wrote them back so I'll also be posting that aswell, I mean some of this stuff is me when I was like 17 years old. I've also took off the comment moderator, but if you insist on comment to start shit, I'll put it back on. (You know who you are). By the way I have not secrets other than what would simply be considered inappropriate to display online. If YOU do have something to tell someone about me, this would be the time to do it. I'm never gonna let anyone hold something over my head so my reply would be "do you". I'm not the person I was last year, and I will admit he was an all out asshole. Now I'm only a quarter of that. Don't start shit just to start shit, especially if it aint true.

To the notorious "Anon" do what you need to do, but after that brush the dirt off ya shoulders and lets get back to what people used to enjoy doing on here. Commenting on my posts and enjoying my writing.

HOlla!

She's Perfect

-Song of Solomon "Like a lily among thorny weeds, so is my girl companion among the daughters."-




"The Dime"

With atleat 20 years of experience in the field I think I can deliver quite an expert opinion on the subject.


Physical attibutes are in most matters a must, the apple bottom, full lips, breats arent' really a must but it would be nice to atleast have a handful. Flat tight stomachs are not only attractive but show character if you ask me. Good teeth are always a must, bad dentals can always fuck up the prettiest face. In this world we live in today, just about any man attributes are a no no.
Me personally, I'm a sucker for pretty faces, smooth skin, toned stomach, legs, and ass.
I've always thought women who grow up looking like they dad got a raw deal.

Personality and mentality go hand in hand. I like women who can hold they own in any enviornment. She don't just stand there with a dumb look on her face. Open mindedness with a touch of spontenaety is always a plus, that way things don't get boring. I really think it's good to be with someone that is just if not more attractive mentally than physically. The typical "Miss A-Team" is always on her A-game. She dresses better than me, smells better than me, keeps her hair done, doesn't wear too much make up. Her panties and her bra match, and sometimes they match with what she has on. She like to read a book or two once if not twice a month, and they don't have to be just sex novels, and she's just as smart as I am if not more, but doesn't hold it over me, or anyones elses. Religion is always a must but not blindy to the point that she could be led off into some kind of cult. Truth is to self.(Think about it...)

Quick insert here, theres a saying "I wanna girl when I wanna girl, and when I don't wanna girl, I wanna girl who understands that. " In other words please have a life. And understand that I have one too, I don't wanna spend all my time couped up under you. Every once in awhile I wanna be told no. I'll still love ya in the morning.

Ya know I've been one of those guys who quickly get bored with women. And ya know what? I believe that the most important part of a relationship is the beginning/courtship. Most of us like courtship so much that when it's over so is the relationship. An inside tip ladies, if a man likes you and you really, really like him. LOL, make him wait, and I don't mean make him wait for a week or 2, shit if you can make him wait like 6 months, man I wish a woman would make me wait like 6 months and still call me every other day asking me to come by while still showing a geniune interest in who I am. See if he really like you and you mean the world to him like he says or you think. He'll wait. WoW parents were right on that one.
Word up.
Maybe I'm on point maybe not. (I think I am by the way.) Try it.


Oh yeah if any of ya wanna send in a perfect man post, don't write it on the comments page.
Send it to me at aelrod1@cox.net and i'll post it for you. If I get more than one then I'll just pick which one i like the best and post it. Oh yeah send a pic to go with if unless you trust me to pick one for you. No Male Nudity On My Site.(I mean really come on).

Yall be cool.

Fuck You!!....just one of those days.

• 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Where to be begin.......fuck it.

• Fuck you to the mother of my son for being such a bitch.
  
• Fuck you to that guy at work who said that most black people are lazy.
  
• Fuck you to that fat bitch at KFC who dissed me, I wasn't even tryin to holla at you.
  
• Fuck you to 2 friends who actually thought I was trying to get with they 2 tired girlfriends
  like I really want a niggaz left overs.
  
• Fuck you to women who don't just say what really going on, don't bullshit me.
  
• Fuck you to that someone who always pops in and out of my life every 4 or 6 months like
  I'm just something she can' t pick up and put down whenever she feel like it. I'M
  TONY FLACO BITCH.
  
• Fuck you to niggaz who just be hating. I mean really hating. And Don't Even know me.
  
• Fuck you to these tight ass prep white bitches, like they better to somebody.
  
• Fuck you to people who got something bad to say about me and my local cause we on
  strike.
  
• Fuck you Denny's
  
• Fuck you Hardeez
  
• Fuck you to SOMEBODY who takes up people they know in the wrong, especially when
  they got a problem with me.
  
• Fuck you to those bitches who play games word up.
  
• Fuck you to women I done fucked already and then they see me in public and act like they
  don't know me.
  
• Fuck the anonymous muthafuckaz who talk shit on my site and it ain't even about me.
  
• Fuck random pointless comments altogether.
  
• Fuck you Hollywood talk people I meet in the streets.
  
• Fuck foes who act like they friends, just be real. And
  
• Fuck all this bullshit I got to put up wit in a day just to sit here and write on this
  
• Fuckin blog.
  
• FUCK THIS!!!, if ya don't like me as a friend then step the fuck off, and stop coming on here aswell. I don't even care if i loose readers. Cause I won't loose sleep, I'm gonna keep doing me. Str8 Ball. If you seen me out and about you know what I mean.
  I'm gone be Good, thats me.
  Roll wit it or roll out, and eat a dick while you at it.
  Holla.
  
  
  
  
  

"Anonymous is an Option"

I'm so Focused right now.

Hello people, how are you today.
Thank you so much for visiting and reading what it is I have to say.
By the way, if you comment and don't wanna socialize with me.
Anonymous is an option, so use it wisely.

In the words of the late Frank White (Biggie) "If ya don't know, now ya know niggaz." If you come to my site and leave a means of which I can contact you, especially if you are a new reader. Then quite simply I will, I honestly cannot help it. Because I want you to come back, with friends lol. This site as been moving along quite well for the almost 2 years, and I know more of you read than leave comments(which hurts I might add). Well, I have something for you today. I can't think of a better or more clever way to do this than just getting right into it.

I wanted more comments than I actually recieved on one of my recent posts but I was happy because I saw I had "new readers". I like to network and make friends to expand what I would like to call a fan base, I don't think I've ever used the internet to meet women or men for anything beyond that, anyone who knows me correct me on that if it's not the truth.
More to the point someone came to my site and left a comment and a means of which to contact them via the internet, so I did with a simple network request. To which they contacted me again on this other site and pretty much initiated dialect with me simply to be little, be cold, and be condesending. Do I deserve this? Really?

I came to find later that I was set up to fail with this woman (obviously). And while now I find it amusing and I thank her because I really needed some new material to write, and I've manage to think up two new posts from this one incident. Coming back to the point though, in the small spectrum that I may have looked on the situation all wrong. In the future people if you don't wanna be bothered, or you don't wanna go beyond leaving a simple comment on my site "Anonymous is an Option" that you are all welcomed to use. It is there for you. I have no hard feelings, I'm not mad at anyone, but to come to my site and leave a comment, then leave a link for me to contact you or know who you are, is well......stupid. That is, if you really don't wanna talk to me.
Luv ya!

Tootles.

Bow Down!

I've often wondered what made a woman stay with a man who completely dominates her. I've heard the many excuses from the mouths of the beaten.
exp."He really loves me", "I wanna keep my kids with the father"(while getting knocked up over and over my the same man who routinely slaps you in the mouth as a hobby), and many, many more.

Now, maybe I'm jealous. I mean I've never to my own knowledge, been with a woman that i could beat the shit out of, call a bitch repeatly and still be able to come over next week to get some ass, food, and a place to sleep. Not that I would, but it would be nice to know that much of a margin for fucking up would be possible, because believe me my lil shit would be a walk in the park for a bitch built like that. Oh and why do I call them bitches might you ask? Because they allow themselves to be called bitches anyway so fuckit.

Now if your out there reading this and I've offended you because you are a victim of spousal abuse then lets be real. Should you really be mad at me for pointing out the obvious? Issues people and we all have them, I'm just glad mine don't involve picking myself up from the ground after someone I routinely have sex with just kick my ass over some shit like they aint know me.

The latter, Mr. Macho who beats women like he didn't have a mother. No, he was born from the sweat of Man, "I answer to know one". Then tries to break it to the homey's like it's cool. You see these people in action and you realize, he don't know anymore what it is to be a man than she knows what one is. I mean shit I personally want a woman, not a damn servant or someone who's walking on egg shells around me hoping I just don't flip and bust that ass, cause aint enough sugar in the kool aid. Str8 up, I've seen it first hand and once she lets the muthafucka know she aint going no where it will and does go that far, little shit got her holding her eye crying and apologizing, "What kinda shit is that?"

Anyway I'm just bullshitting, saw this picture, thought it was funny, and said fuckit.
I can't relate to that lifestyle, I don't understand, and that doesn't bother me.
My moddo "I don't hit you, you don't hit me." Plain and simple. No excuses.
Anyone who tolerates that either as self-esteem issues, or is just fucking stupid.
And if I'm ignorant in this matter, then my ignorance is bliss.
Holla back. 

Jesus Was A Man people!!

Change of pace.

First of all allow me to say that I consider myself a Christian although I express a certain amount of curiosity and respect for all types of religions. Lately I've been ranting quite a bit about a certain subject and so far I've been given no support or understanding for the way that I feel. I'm hoping to change that tide of opposition today.

Where to begin.............
Ok, as christians, who believe in christ as Lord and savior, and who are encouraged to have a personal relationship with him all through our daily lives, sometimes it bothers me that none of them even know his favorite color. Or for that matter what his favorite food was. My point is, think of every other relationship you hold with so many others in your life and you know and for that matter should know everything thing about them. But how well do you really know Jesus. The disciples spent atleast 11 or 12 years with him before he was killed and they never just spoke of a day when they was just kickin it, everything mentioned of him was so pivital, critical, and dramatic. I'm simply saying that it took away something that I don't think people really grasp at times.

JESUS WAS A MAN people, he slept, ate, pissed, took a shit, all of those lil things we are all burden to do from the pretteist face to the most unappealing person you can think of in your life. The MAN blew his nose, passed gas, add body odor if he didn't wash, everything. Those things didn't take away his glory if you believed he was the Son of God, or that he was God. He was an example of how God intended us to be even with all the ailgments that come along with being human in this world. And maybe it's a temper tantrum but I want more, like anyone would want more when they are in love with someone, I want to know him more personally and I think we all should. I can't sit down and worship like Catholics do because it's seem so ceremoniously drawn out and staged(no offense), but when I think of all the people I love in just plain human nature, I don't approach them that way, which is probably why so many more can't relate.

My site/blog is named after a book a read some years ago, very hard read. It's subject is about original sin, the tragedy behind Adam and Eve's transgretion. But it made me realize that sin didn't orginate in man, but in heaven it self when Satan took arms again God. Jealously I believe is the word(amond other things might I add). It interests me alot how people relate to God, inpart because most assume that I don't, but it's not my fault that can't see it.

I just don't like when you take so much from a person, that all you end up knowning is the legend.

Yall be cool.